Aldous Huxley: Fard

Because I am a good, supportive, helpful sort, I took a friend recently to purchase a new pair of running trainers. Which isn't a very exciting way to begin a pre-podcastal anecdote, but don't go away yet! You see, it wasn't at all what I'd come to expect from my Friendly Local Sneaker Salesperson. No! My friend was placed on the pedestal of a treadmill and told to run, a treadmill attached to video camera equipment and analytics software and a multi-screen view of his feet in action, from which the decision of the Perfect Trainer For Him had become a no-brainer. It was all very sci-fi and ultrasensory and cool, in an admittedly unhuman sort of way (and let's face it, we can ruminate all day, but we're just talking about sneakers).
And it gave me an idea. Indulge me a minute. Place your left thumb on the icon at the top of one of those ear-buds (either one is fine). (Come on, please? It'd make me so very happy.)
(Did you do it? Come on, just for a second)
This is where I was going to make a joke about determining the perfect podcast for you today based on some thumb-in-earbud analytics software that I whipped up in Javascript, but I think you probably get it by now. Either because you're brilliant, or because I can't compose a joke. In any event, tonight's story fits all.