Wolfgang Borchert: Do Stay, Giraffe

Okay, adventure seekers, listen up! For reasons that need not be enumerated here, I should warn you that tonight's story was recorded in a hushed whisper, late at night, and I didn't dare play it back to sample the condign commission of my own bedtime story. In other words, it was read quietly and is being posted blindly.
I want you to know, in short, that what you are about to hear I have not heard. Which means that you (and I mean every last one of you) are basically the first person to hear this. Unless you're here because someone's told you to come here to listen to Wolfgang Borchert. And if you've got friends giving you tips like that, well wow, hold tight to them, or introduce them to me. And if you're my friend reading this, I didn't mean that: I would never swap you for some stranger just because that person knows Borchert. Honest.