Wolfgang Hildesheimer: Why I Transformed Myself Into a Nightingale

There's this new higher-than-hightech device that's now mine, intended to make my podcasts sound better for you, and while I'm not sure of its success rate at doing so, I do know that it's got every kind of tech-sounding hypermegaphonics that should make it crisper than a blade of grass blowing in the wind in Surround Sound (do you know they really make those noises using cabbages! It's the Magic of Hollywood!)
But okay: it's got all this great stuff, my new headphone recording device, but probably most importantly, it's... are you ready ... it's HANDS-FREE! Do you have any idea what this means to me?! I can sip tea, I can turn pages, I can smash a cabbage and create new sound-effects-driven worlds (I wouldn't dare), and I'm afraid I'm going to start demanding that other things in my life are hands-free. I mean, they're my hands, and for those minutes, they were truly and unequivocally free... FREE! I don't claim to know much, but take it from me and free your own hands for a few minutes-- it's terrific.